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TITLE:  What’s So Scary about Submission?
TEXT:  Ephesians 5:20-23
PROPOSITION:  Marriage demands mutual submission.
KEY WORD:  Secrets


  1. Often marriage is a “tug-of-war” – struggle for power.
  2. Loser ends up in the mud.
  3. Many today dislike the word – SUBMISSION
    1. It is often a difficult, disliked, divisive word.
    2. The submission of the text is – MUTUAL
  4. Submit = I limit what I might do naturally in order to benefit another.


What does submission look like?

  1. The husband makes all the important decisions – financial, family, discipline.
  2. The husband and wife should discuss and work together, but the husband has the final say.
  3. The husband is the president; the wife is the vice-president.
  4. The husband should control the TV remote.


Six Secrets to Submission – Submission is:

  1. Personal
    1. You apply to yourself – not try to apply to others
    2. Wives – don’t tell you husband to step up or you take charge
    3. Husbands – don’t tell you wife she has to obey your orders
  2. Spiritual
    1. Submission only makes sense in our relationship to Christ
    2. V. 21 – Out of reverence for Christ
    3. V. 24 – As church is subject to Christ
  3. Mutual
    1. V. 21 – To one another – mutual
    2. NOT – all give or all take
    3. People with power must submit to those with less power
  4. Beneficial
    1. Many think this is a terrible teaching of God
    2. Women’s lib says – Don’t submit to anyone
    3. Person with less power – has input, ideas, suggestions
    4. Person with more power – must listen, consider, submit
  5. Practical
    1. Some think this means they must stay in abusive marriage
    2. “I’ll stay and submit to his beatings, if it kills me.”
    3. Submission does not mean you stop thinking, give up your brain
  6. Countercultural
    1. Today – emphasis is on personal freedom – selfish needs are first
    2. Today – we don’t yield the right of way to anyone
    3. Submission is against the grain
    4. Submission demands that we consider other people first.
    5. The Quest Study Bible – “A submissive spirit runs counter to society’s values and it always has. However, it remains God’s standard for all believers – male and female – for all time.”

Conclusion – “Show me a man who lays down his life for his wife, and I’ll show you a wife who has no problem with submission.”

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