WHAT CONSTITUTES MARRIAGE?

Genesis 2:18-25

Introduction

1. Today – a lot of fuzzy thinking on this topic

2. Illustration 1 – Engaged couple decide to live together before marriage – a) OK because they have made a commitment to each other? b) This is fornication.

3. Illustration 2 – Couple divorce because they drifted apart (not fornication) – Later man marries again – Woman says she now have “just cause” - a) He is guilty of fornication because in God's eyes they are still married. b) The divorce ended the previous marriage and he is no longer her husband.

What constitutes marriage?

1. Definitions

   1. Marriage - is the process by which two people who love each other make their relationship public, official, and permanent. It is the joining of two people in a bond that lasts until death, but in practice is increasingly cut short by divorce. (Psychology Today website)

   2. Divorce – legal and formal dissolution of a marriage, to dissolve legally a marriage

2. Scriptures

   1. Genesis 2:18-24 – leaving parents, joined to each other

   2. Patriarchs “took” wives

   3. What is involved in this “joining” or “taking”?

      1. Genesis 4:17 – Cain knew his wife – already wife before sexual union

      2. Leviticus 21:14 – taking = marrying

      3. There is a public declaration – this person is now married

      4. God does not specify any particular action, ceremony, ritual – but is included in the public declaration.

      5. Wedding includes:

         1. Spiritual commitment to God – “God joins together” (Matthew 19:6)

         2. AND – compliance with government requirements

         3. AND – public declaration (ceremony, notice in newspaper, ring)

      6. Later – time of Moses and NT (Matthew 1:18-24)

         1. Betrothal = binding, a divorce would be needed to break it

         2. BUT was not marriage – Why was Mary's being pregnant a shame?

      7. Law of Moses included a “writing of divorce” - legal document – Deuteronomy 24:1-4; Matthew 19:1-9

      8. In NT times the ceremony included a “reception” - feast – John 2:1

   4. Here are the facts

      1. Sex outside of marriage is a sin – Hebrews 11:4, 1 Corinthians 7:2

      2. There is a public interest to know who and when they are married.

   5. Mark 6:17-18 –

      1. Herod was married to Herodias (his brother Philip's wife)

      2. Was Herod married to her or not? Legal – Yes; With God – No.

3. CONCLUSIONS TO DRAW:

   1. MARRIAGE

      1. Included intent – promise – engagement

      2. Also included public acknowledgment

      3. Illustration 1 – They engaged in fornication.

      4. Cultures differ in the customs and traditions

      5. A couple is married when they comply with the laws of God and the regulations and laws of the country where they reside.

         1. Intent, Commitment, Desire

         2. License, ceremony, registered at court house

         3. Public declaration – ceremony, newspaper, rings, etc.

   2. DIVORCE

      1. The example of Herod helps here

         1. Herod and Herodias were married

         2. Did God sanction the marriage? NO.

         3. Legal – married; God – not legal

         4. Meet legal requirements – married

         5. Meet legal requirements – divorced

         6. Married = married; Divorced = divorced

      2. It is possible to be married (Herod) and that marriage not be approved by God

      3. Illustration 2 –

         1. The divorce was not scriptural – but divorced anyway.

         2. When he married again – he was free (legal) to marry.

         3. His marriage has no bearing on her freedom to marry.

4. Conclusion – Roy Deaver - “Marriage is an agreement (a contract) between two eligible parties, to take each other in holy matrimony, according to the laws of God and the land. When I pronounce a couple “husband and wife” they are in fact at that time husband and wife.” Your Marriage Can Be Great, Edited by Tom Warren, page 93

Adapted from material by Michael D. Greene