BEFORE YOU SAY, “I DO”

INTRODUCTION:

1.     I can not “pick” who you will marry.

2.     Man with wedding band on wrong finger – married wrong woman

3.     I can give you some information about  dating and getting ready for marriage

4.     I have done pre-marriage counseling with couples before performing their wedding

KEYS TO A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE

1.     God, Faith, Religion

a.     Wynne, AR – 19 year study – marry a non-Christian = 80% leave church

b.     Miami, OK – 20 year study –

                                                    i.     marry a non-Christian = 72% leave the church

                                                  ii.     marry a Christian = 92% remain faithful

c.      Truth in Love – in OK –

                                                    i.     marry a non-Christian = 70% leave the church

                                                  ii.     marry a Christian = 94% remain faithful

d.     Faith must be the binder (glue) that holds you together

e.     NOT:

                                                    i.     Good looks, muscles, hair style

                                                  ii.     Not skinny or with a paunch

(Source – Jacksonville Christian Student Center publication, Jacksonville, AL)

2.     Communication

a.     Communication is #1 problem counselors see; finances #2

b.     10 Rules for Arguing

                                                    i.     Only one argument per day

                                                  ii.     Only one subject in any one argument

                                                 iii.     No argument can last longer that 30 minutes

                                                 iv.     The one who starts it can not walk out of the room

                                                   v.     Nothing more than 2 weeks old can be brought up

                                                 vi.     No arguing within 1 hour of rising or 2 hours be fore bedtime

                                               vii.     No violence

                                              viii.     No profanity

                                                 ix.     You may holler as long as it cannot be heard by anyone except your spouse (date).

                                                   x.     The argument can not be a mealtime.

c.      James 1:19 Slow to speak, quick to listen

d.     Wife’s favorite flower? Pillsbury, all purpose

3.     Commitment

a.     Commitment to God

b.     Commitment to each other

c.      Ephesians 5:31 – leave and cleave

d.     Matthew 19:5 – leave and cleave = to be glued together

4.     Dating and pre-marital sexual activity

a.     Fornication = any sexual activity outside of marriage

                                                    i.     1 Thessalonians 4:3-4

                                                  ii.     1 Corinthians 6:5-20

b.     See Joseph – Genesis 39:9 I cannot sin against my God

c.      No sex before marriage – divorce rate = 2%

d.     Live together before marriage - >50% divorce rate

5.     Dating age

a.     Start dating at 12 – 91% divorce rate

b.     Start dating at 13 – 56% divorce rate

c.      Start dating at 14 – 53% divorce rate

d.     Start dating at 15 – 40% divorce rate

e.     Start dating at 16 – 20% divorce rate

(Source – Oak Hills Church of Christ, San Antonio, TX)