TITLE: "I Love You"

PROPOSITION: Love must be communicated.

QUESTION: How?

KEY WORD: Levels

INTRODUCTION:

          1. Have I told you lately that I love you?

          2. Why is that so hard to do?

          3. In one word - vulnerable.

          4. Quote from, Why am I afraid to tell you who I am?; page 12 - "I am afraid to tell you who I am, because, if I tell you who I am, you may not like who I am, and it's all that I have."

          5. "If I change my mind, I'll let you know." Not valid!

1. Conversation Levels

          A. Cliche Conversation

                    1. In line at the supermarket.

                    2. Those we do not know at all.

          B. Reporting the facts about others.

                    1. Little or no trust.

                    2. Fear they will not like us.

          C. My ideas and judgments.

                    1. Some trust developed.

                    2. Tell idea but not emotions.

          D. Me feelings (emotions) "gut level"

                    1. "I am ..." = "I feel ..."

                    2. No masks, no protection.

                    3. This is the real me.

2. Rules for "gut level" communication

          A. Never imply a judgment of the other.

                    1. Don't say, "You were mad."

                    2. Say, "I felt your rejection when ..."

          B. Emotions are not moral (good or bad).

                    1. Involuntary response to perceived stimuli.

                    2. Do not judge my feelings.

                    3. My feelings are not wrong. I might be wrong about the fact on which they are based.

          C. Feelings must be integrated with intellect and will.

                    1. Left and right brain.

                    2. Logic and emotions must work together.

          D. Emotions must be reported.

                    1. Don't keep them hidden inside.

                    2. Others are not mind readers.

3. Quote from Powell, Secret of staying in love; page 12 - Illustration of the popcorn machine; "I felt like weeping, weeping for people who have become locked-in, jammed, broken machines filled with goodness that other people need and want and yet will never come to enjoy, because somehow, somewhere, something has gone wrong inside."